


strawberry kisses and young hearts

by jinanwon



Series: so i can be your last that no one else was [1]
Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, a drabble collection i guess?, happy eight years to binhwan!!, it technically ends with angst though i'm sorry, lapslock, uhh binhwan rise pls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-09-29 19:24:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17209490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jinanwon/pseuds/jinanwon
Summary: snippets of ten different kisses that hanbin gives jinhwan.





	strawberry kisses and young hearts

**Author's Note:**

> support ikon's upcoming release ! unedited as of now bc i'm at peak laziness lmao so there'll probably be like a bunch of mistakes yikes

**_i._ **

finally confessing to his best friend of eleven years hasn't done the soft and affectionate nature of their relationship any favours, hanbin discovers. he's sitting opposite jinhwan in the best restaurant a borderline broke high school student like him could afford at the time for a first date, and they can no longer meet each other's eyes without shying away and blushing. every time there was the most fleeting of touches between their fingertips, it would cause an array of awkward situations to play out.

hanbin's appetite is barely existent at this point, and he notices jinhwan has the same sentiment, if the way he's lazily pushing the food around on his plate conveys any message. hence, they end up at the local convenience store with snacks and ramen in hand, after eating at a few street stalls.

the walk to jinhwan's house isn't uncomfortable by any means, but there's an thin air of bashfulness surrounding them. it doesn't really help that hanbin's sending jinhwan tentative eyes when he assumes he's not looking. someone  _has_ to take the first step, and right now, it doesn't look like hanbin's ready to. so jinhwan's the one who timidly grasps hanbin's hand with his own, interlocking their fingers.

"is this okay?"

all hanbin could really do is nod, a wide, dopey smile gracing it's way across his face.

 

they arrive at jinhwan's door, and hanbin turns to face jinhwan. both of them make the motion to speak. there's a moment when it feels as if time has just frozen, and hanbin's eyes flitter the slightest bit downwards to jinhwan's lips.

it's not an action that jinhwan misses.

"is it okay if i..."

the words are clumped together in jinhwan's throat, so he nods hurriedly.  _anything's okay as long as it's you, hanbin_.

and then he felt soft lips against the corner of his mouth, short and sweet.

"maybe next time i'll do the real thing," hanbin murmurs thoughtfully. 

 

jinhwan really couldn't wish for anything more.

 

 

**_ii_ _._ **

jinhwan first met hanbin when he was four years old, almost five. their mothers were old acquaintances, and with hanbin's family moving into their suburb, there was no way that jinhwan would go without meeting the younger boy at least once.

 

it's a warm day at the park when hanbin presses a wet, sloppy kiss onto jinhwan's cheek. jinhwan's on the concrete, a nasty scab on his right knee, blood dripping down his leg and tears down his face. "my mum always says kisses make the pain go away." 

their mothers giggle and snap photos from the nearest park bench, with promises to tease them when they're older.

"we're gonna grow up and old together! and we're gonna get married!" hanbin declares bravely, as he pulls his friend up. jinhwan pinks a little, and their mothers just continue with their rambunctious laughter.

 

they end up walking home together, fingers intertwined and arms swinging along in rhythm with jinhwan's soft, happy singing. it's then when hanbin decides that he likes it when jinhwan is happy.

 

 

**_iii._ **

they're on jinhwan's bed, jinhwan tracing little circles into hanbin's palm as he compares their hand sizes. it's a lazy night for both of them, and hanbin's humming a random tune that he makes a mental note to write down later. the two of them are still enduring the adjustment period of friends to lovers, slightly hesitant and timid with their actions, but jinhwan's found that with time, it only gets better.

there's arms wound around his middle, a laptop playing disney lying ignored somewhere around them, a scented candle that they should probably extinguish soon, and a head burying itself into the crook between his neck and shoulder, mumbling nonsensical strings of comments. kind of the perfect cuddle session, if you ask jinhwan.

 

"hmm, you smell so nice and sweet," he makes out from the jumbled words, shivering a little at the little kisses hanbin presses into his skin. "just like strawberries."

 

jinhwan never stops buying the strawberry scented body wash.

 

 

 ** _iv._**  

"how does it sound?"

jinhwan lets himself drown in the music flowing through his ears. "beautiful," he whispers, a tear leaking from the corner of his eye.

hanbin kisses the tear away. somehow, it just makes jinhwan want to cry more.

 

 

**_v._ **

it's no secret to anyone who knows jinhwan well enough that he's: one, terrible at games, and two, a sore loser. not a very good combination, of course. there was one point in time where hanbin was at the brunt of jinhwan's stubborn, hurt pride, and was promptly ignored by his boyfriend for an entire week. but with time, hanbin's found a loophole in the system.

 

luigi just can't stop falling off rainbow road, it seems, and hanbin can perceive the frustration gradually piling up in jinhwan's expression in the form of the cutest pout in existence. the screen signals the end of the race, and jinhwan angrily glares at the blatant, red '12th' he's received.

but all of his irritation and annoyance dissipate when he feels the lightest of pecks on the tip of his nose.

"you're so cute when you're angry, you know?" hanbin chuckles.

 

jinhwan just buries his face into his boyfriend's chest, a whine of embarrassment emitting itself from his lips. hanbin just chuckles and pulls him closer, game completely forgotten.

 

 

**_vi._ **

it's jinhwan's high school graduation day, and for some odd reason, hanbin finds himself feeling way more nervous than jinhwan looks.

"calm down, hanbin-ah," he laughed, when he saw the way his boyfriend was breathing heavily, riddled with tension. hanbin pouts and continues to do so as he watches jinhwan walk away from him and towards his designated seat, waving dismissively. he returns to his own with jinhwan's mother and sister, and if he has the biggest, proudest smile graced upon his face when jinhwan's name is called, they don't tease him for it. his heart soars when jinhwan grins widely from the stage in reply.

 

before he can even take a step outside after the ceremony, jinhwan's lifted up in a warm hug and spun around in circles.

"i'm so proud of you, jinani," hanbin hums into jinhwan's neck, before pressing his lips against his collarbone. jinhwan just laughs in response.

 

it's jinhwan's high school graduation day, but hanbin's the one who feels like he's on top of the world.

 

 

**_vii._ **

hanbin doesn't know why he does it - it just feels like there's a natural force lurking in the atmosphere that causes him to gravitate towards jinhwan. it's been three years, all long and gruelling, since they last saw each other, and hanbin still has the vivid image and sound of jinhwan's tears etched in his memory.

his lips are against jinhwan's before he knows it. hanbin grips his wrists tightly with one hand; he wants no knowledge of whether jinhwan still wants him or not. that's an answer to a question that he'll forever want to avoid. the salty taste of tears and surprise go ignored, and so does the idea that it signifies that one thing he had been trying to evade. soon enough, hanbin tires from the lack of response on jinhwan's end, and pulls away.

it's at this point in time where he's actually able to drink in jinhwan's appearance. he looks exhausted, despondent, and forlorn all at once, and he can feel his heart squeeze tightly with pain. he notices his eyes flitter to the right, away from hanbin, to someone else, someone else who's probably better for him, who won't treat him the way hanbin has, who doesn't keep secrets and hold him tightly to his chest in false security before letting him fall from the climax of happiness all the way to the depths of hell.

 

"please let me go, hanbin," jinhwan whispers, and there's no other tone in it besides,  _empty_.

 

 _no,_ hanbin feels his heart scream,  _i don't want to_.

 

 

**_viii._ **

jinhwan wanders around the room, observing all the other masked people in hopes of finding hanbin. or at least someone besides his best friend who he's well acquainted with, possibly jinyoung, jinwoo, or jihoon. their school's student council had brought to life the idea of a victorian era inspired masquerade ball, and as much as jinhwan would love to admire the aesthetics of the situation, if there's one thing he absolutely dislikes, it's being alone.

especially in a sea of people he doesn't really know or recognise.

he shies away from the other students and into the corner of the auditorium. he wishes that their phones weren't confiscated at the entrance in order to heighten the mysteriousness of the event as well as the chances of new social interactions, because he's perfectly comfortable with his position on the social ladder. suddenly, his hand is softly taken by one that is rather rough and calloused. there's a figure kneeling down, and a kiss delicately placed on the top of his hand.

 

"may i have this dance?"

 

recognising the voice, jinhwan allows a little smile before letting himself be swept off his feet.

 

 

**_ix._ **

the clock reads 10:48PM. jinhwan eyes the closed front door once again with contempt, before sighing and going to retrieve a container to pour the uneaten dinner into. he's just tired, and he wants to understand.

he sits on the couch for another hour and a half, mindlessly switching between channels, all of which blur into white background noise. his thoughts drift off into hanbin's recent behaviour and possible reasons behind it. communication is the most important part of a relationship, is it not? yet, whenever he opens his mouth to ask hanbin about it, jinhwan can see the darkened and tired edges of his eyes, can sense the stress and agitation of his body language.

so jinhwan just drifts off to foggy voices of variety hosts and laughing sound effects that he can feel mocking him. he only slightly awakens to the sensation of strong arms lifting him.

 

hanbin quietly opens the door to find his boyfriend on the couch, lulled to sleep by lethargy and running man re-runs. his lips linger on jinhwan's forehead as he places him in bed, a deep sense of painful longing and sorrow bleeding through his skin. jinhwan just wants to understand. that's his last thought before he succumbs to a dreamless sleep.

 

he ends up understanding though, the next morning, when he wakes up to a letter with smudged ink, and messy, reluctant writing on the bedside table, and the removal of every trace of kim hanbin but that from his apartment. 

he's finally gotten his answer. jinhwan's never cried that hard before in his life.

 

 

_**x.** _

it's new year's eve, and the two of them are wrapped up in their warmest coats as they walk through the snow to the park next to the han river. if jinhwan isn't securely buried in his side for warmth, he's posing for photos, hanbin enthusiastically clicking away with his camera.

what beautiful scenery, he muses inwardly, as he browses the newly taken images. a chuckle and a shutter sound breaks through his dreamy state, "you look so stupid like that, you know, smiling like an idiot."

jinhwan is beaming at him with bright, twinkling eyes, his phone in hand.

"well, i'm stupidly in love with you."

 

three.

hanbin feels his heart surge with an indescribable exhilaration as he sees jinhwan smiling up at him with affection, eyes curved in the prettiest of crescents.

 

two.

"forever?"

hanbin gazes down at jinhwan's question, and tightens his arms around his boyfriend, fondness evident in his features.

 

one.

"forever."

it comes out as a whisper but it's all jinhwan can hear, even over the fireworks decorating the sky above them.

 

happy new year.

and hanbin leans down to place a sweet kiss on jinhwan's lips. but before he could pull away, there are arms wrapped around his neck, deepening the kiss, asking for more. so that's what hanbin gives. he can feel jinhwan smiling, and responds with one of his own.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> hi yes tis i, a bobhwan enthusiast, writing binhwan bc no kidding i love binhwan loads,, happy 8 years to binhwan! and happy birthday to our warm-hearted and kind angel donghyuk
> 
> find me and like shout at me on: [twitter](https://twitter.com/bobhwanau) or [cc](https://curiouscat.me/jinanwon) or [aff](https://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/1138081)
> 
>  
> 
> kudos and comments are greatly appreciated ><  
>  
> 
> hope everyone had a great start to the new year!


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